Right now in my life I host a prayer group once a week- don't be impressed, it just so happens I don't have to leave the house and I have space for kids to run around, not at all that I am super spiritual!
I wish thats all it took...
ANYWAY, the point is there is a woman who started coming who is a newer believer and let me tell ya, if you want to grow as an older believer find a young believer and start praying with them! Every week she prays- to the point of tears sometimes- for the unbelievers in her life. Its not like, 'and this person, this person and this person...' but its like 'Lord it breaks my heart they don't know You like I do, they really need You and this person and this person are really hurting...'
HOW COOL IS THAT?!
Man I want zeal.
And then there is my (almost) two year old who has entered a rebellious 'NO!!!' stage.
Oh my.
Sigh.
Yet I've noticed in my life lately God has been opening my eyes to the "faults" of others and immediately I see how it co-realates to my relationship with Him.
Example, I was angry at my husband for not wanting to spend time with me, that he had other things to do and I had to ask for quality time... just then I realized I had almost been *looking* for things to keep me busy rather than sitting down to pray and read the Word. Way worse than a busy husband.
WHY the HECK?!
Back to Margo, she is so rebellious! Everything, EVERYTHING, is NO! Diaper change, come here please, lets eat, lets sleep, do you want a book?
I wonder though, how much am I like that with God? Waaaaaaaaaaay too much. God I can't do that, I don't want to do whats hard. God I don't have time for You... God that person really ticked me off, I have a right to be mad!
Oh my.
Sigh.
So I am here trying to find the middle of zeal and rebellion, hoping in this busy time- not too mention getting more hormonal every day- to find Jesus and know Him better. If only I could hold onto that simple thought!
Here's to hoping for if only and the middle ground.
2 comments:
WOW - this boat's getting crowded with you and I in it together. :-P
Seriously though. It's SO NOT EASY!!!
It's like you have to unlearn your sinful ways to relearn His ways. Sheesh. PAINful much?
I heard it said recently that our hunger for God as we grow in our relationship with him, is like a father teaching their child to ride the bike. YOu are doing great with those training wheels. You can turn a corner with the BEST of them. But then it comes time to take off the training wheels. No one running next to you, and no one there to tell you when to go and stop. Just you and the bike and trying SO hard to balance on your own.
Losing those training wheels is liek losing that initial zeal for God that we had when we were first saved. SO hungry and ready for more of him at ANY cost! Then God removes the training wheels so that we can begin to develop the skill and discipline to come to him on our own.
I think I butchered that story, but it was really good when I heard it. :)
Wow that is an awesome way of putting it, thanks for sharing... I don't think you butchered it at all but maybe thats because I'm in that place of understanding it perfectly. haha
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