Paradox: 30: an update on life. With pictures.

Yesterday marked the completion of my 30th year.
So now I'm 30.

They say it's a milestone but it came and went like every other day; I worked hard, I fed people, I cleaned up, and I enjoyed moments. I was a mommy, wife, sister, friend, and daughter. I had frustrations and disappointments, happiness and laughter; it was life.

See? A normal day. Ok so we had a little party... but then again when my sister comes over with her four kids its a party and we only added a few 10 more or so... case in point below (erhm, never mind my disgusting hair in that pic... humility on the internet, right?)

Life has looked differently though, lately, in my mind. It seems less carefree and more real, but perhaps that isn't exactly it... perhaps more fact and less fancy? Romance is less how I felt when he looked at me that way but rather the fact that he looked at me at all. Motherhood is less and less by the moments caught of smiles and new discoveries and more and more having big girl discussions, arguments, or making memories purposefully.

So far this year we've moved to middle of no where up north and live on 3 acres of woods. We got a dog and chickens. We started first grade with Margo, homeschooling, which turns out to be a lot of work. I'm sure there are a lot of other changes but those are the big ones.

Yes, we wear princess dresses ALL THE TIME.

My life. It's rough... ;)

But really we do a LOT of work... especially after big storms of which we've had a few.

Working hard and setting examples.

Capturing melancholy moments of princesses who dress themselves and play puzzles under dining room tables.

Though I admit the coffee is tasting different these days... I could have an IV of it and I wouldn't feel a difference in wakefulness, sadly.

Perhaps 30 really is a milestone.

These days I love life.

I'm incredibly thankful for the way the sun falls on the birch trees and the moss grows on my lawn. Also for that smell the air has when we finish school for the day; halfheartedly or successfully, done is done and every moment of reiteration counts. I'm thankful for the last three paragraphs written entirely without interruption excepting the quiet buzzing of the refrigerator which I'm also thankful to have (having gone without it for a day this summer I sincerely know it's value) but then I only know to be thankful for that because the first three were interrupted by fighting children, hugs, listening to stories about chickens from the young up and coming farmer Margo, and a 5 minute game of fetch with the dog.

By the way look at their faces when we adopted the dog! I wish my sniping skills had included husband's entire face...

Some days I could spend hours watching the wind in the trees while my kids play hide and seek in the dirt (yes, DIRT... children who run wild look like they grow up in the wild) but my soul feels it is just a farce.

This year, more than ever, seems like every turned corner is a disaster. Politics, wars, rumors of wars, bad weather... disasters. Disappointments personally, though overwhelming emotionally, are really just a lie to distract me from praying. So we pray a lot here... the girls and I pray once or twice a day for one of the global disasters. Generally it is quiet amusing as Elly in praying for Japan in the Tsunami prayed "thanks for the people getting their homes under water that they can live there now" completely convinced, I'm sure, that they are now mermaids. Another time we prayed for the people being hunted by Isis and she prayed "thanks for the daddies not getting their head chopped off and please let their heads stay on and still have their heads"... it was hard to sincerely agree with her without laughing at her honest prayer.
Margo, on the other hand, often gets teary when we talk and pray for others. She cries when I tell her about Isis and asks "why?!" but she gets shy and scared when praying about it... though she is often shy and lashes out these days because she is so easily embarrassed.

But there, that is a snapshot of life. I would love to sit and play video games but I hardly have the free time. I would love to write more blogs but generally my brain is too exhausted for anything but Facebook or trying not to be angry at people making bad decisions... I would like to pray more which I do, and am, trying to do.

Finally, I'll leave you with snapshots of what writing this blog was like.

Introducing my adorable blog buddy (because who needs peace and quiet and loneliness? Well yes, I would love it, but this is nice too):