Zacchaeus

Tonight the kids and I read the story of Zacchaeus from the children's story book Bible. It described the man as hated because he had hurt people and a scene where those people looked on, muttering and angry, as Jesus went to his house and Zacchaeus repented. I wonder, was it hard for them to accept the money Zacchaeus gave back? Did they turn to forgiveness, perhaps awe at Jesus and His benevolence, or did this act of complete forgiveness- a clean slate for someone who clearly didn't deserve it because he had acted so selfishly- just spur them to bitterness and turning from the faith...

Man those kid's Bibles... they'll get ya. Maybe it's because my heart is fully opened to the little bodies leaning in close and fighting for more of my lap, but somehow I almost always cry when I read those stories; they get past the defenses I put up when I read the "real" Word of God (as if it's less real because someone drew pictures to go with the stories).

I don't have enemies to forgive in my life; I've generally had a trouble free go of 32 years on this planet. Disregarding inner turmoil, of course.

Yet I do have a Zacchaeus- I call him Husband. The one human closest to my heart I find it the hardest to forgive; does that say more about my callous heart or the emotional (whether real or imagined) wounds he's inflicted?

Does it matter...

Lord let me not become bitter and turn from faith!
I am not quick to forgive.
Even now I wrestle with putting my shields up to protect my bruised heart instead of setting them down to say 'I know true Love and forgiveness myself, so thus I live it towards you'. 

Cheers- may the Lord make me truly humble.