We've been discussing lately about how our relationship lacks a relationship- we sleep next to each other every night for a few hours when the entire day we've talked to each other maybe 30 minutes collectively and some days we've been making time for each other only to kiss hello and good bye as he comes and goes to work. The string that holds us together has been drawn taut lately.
As he marked the third spot for drilling a sixth time, measuring it against the second and fourth, it came to me that this might be what I am supposed to do to fix it- just sit; watch; wait; support him by sitting there bored. Though, perhaps I should lose the bored part.
Maybe I've been grabbing onto the idea of adventure and the lack there of in my marriage a bit too much; perhaps I need to be content to watch and be quiet. Why do we always think there is a need for words? Many times I know what my husband wants, needs, and wants me to express in the words he can't- or won't- find himself... but that is his weakness. I've gone back and forth over whether I'm being his helpmeet by expressing for him or his crutch by taking his chance to grow.
Maybe I'll find the answer when he comes back from the hardware store and I sit and watch him measure for the holes he is going to drill in a piece of wood...
2 comments:
With Brandy & I it was the other way 'round, but after six years it's gotten a lot better (mutual expression). You should ask Brandy & get her perspective on whether my harrassment and coaching was beneficial or not.
I think to a certain extent that when you "fix it" by saying things for him you are providing a crutch. It may be more expedient and it may save you embarrassment to say things for him, but I don't feel like it helps you, him or the hearer in the long run as some things, whether small or great, need to be said by the person themselves.
I went through a season like this too, though we didn't stay there! If you think about it, I would imagine that boredom may be one of the most effective tools that Satan has in his arsenal. It's when we're bored that we seek folly and folly often leads to sin. So boredom is an opportunity work out your faith with fear and trembling.
Hang in there, Deary.
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