It ends well.

Breathe.

Sometimes I just want to tell someone I am angry but who is there to tell without regretting I blew up over nothing? Well, there is this blog!

I am angry.

Seething really; but not as angry as I am helpless to move the unmovable and change the unchangeable and not as angry as I am hurt... but then, being helpless and hurt makes me angry because its my only defense.

Well, not only. Yep, you guessed it... I have prayer.

I know God (well, He is GOD) can move what will not be moved and change the unchangeable... but will I have the patience? Oh God I feel every drop of blood in my veins screaming out its life force against sitting here and waiting! How can I withstand myself?

It does not matter what or who its about, the former is under the cross and the latter is a sinner who needs Jesus just as much as I am. Man! Sometimes I hate perspective- even as it brings stillness to a heart boiling with rage and peace to a mind swamped in destruction... it means I must give up my tight grip on justification and pity. Oh silly human, why do you hold onto the chaff that can be burned when the refined gold is being held out to you?

GROW UP, stupid.

I feel much better now.

Thanks for being my listening ears... but much more, thanks to God for being faithful, for listening all along (even to the last 3 hours of crappyness in my head) and for giving me peace that surpasses understanding when I didn't deserve it. Thank God He loves sinners!

My anger is joy again.