Weeds

I am going through a study with a couple friends called 'Healed and Set Free'. I recommend it to just about every woman I know... for a little while I was not going to continue in it because I've always had a very good and protected life, unlike the author who was raped and abused (and a lot of people who go through it have had similar experiences), but then God got a hold of me through my friends and reminded me of times I've been hurt (or hurt someone) and buried it in my heart to rot into bitterness.

Going through the first week of the study brought to mind my first year of gardening.

A few months ago when we first built the garden we had to dig up the old one and I discovered an old plant, or an old weed, that had been left to grow a long time ago but was recently chopped and now looked small and insignificant from the top. However, once I dug in I found FEET and FEET of roots all through out the garden! It was a 4x6 garden and the whole thing, and well into the grass, had strong roots ruining my chances of growing healthy vegetables.

Unless I ripped them out.

So I did. It took a few days and hours of pulling and getting dirty, and just a few blisters, but I rid that garden of that weed and now I have a small but flourishing garden of beautiful vegetable plants. (Which BTW I hand that one to God, I have a black thumb!)

Well anyway, I am excited about digging out and letting go of my bitterness; especially against my husband for the many many fights we've had! It happens so quickly, bitterness, and as a woman (especially) I am so easily deceived into thinking I can hide or bury it and it will just disappear! Or in more cases then not, I'm deceived into thinking if I don't feel bitterness as anger then its not really there and I don't need to remember I was bitter until the next time I get angry and need fuel for a fight. (if that makes sense...)

Sinners.

Geesh.