"Its gotta be more like falling in love than something to believe in..."

This week has been a hard one.

Oh God, it is only Tuesday!! Selah.

I've been attacking some habits I've picked up as of late and now that I've started I can't give in or they will be stronger in their rebellion when I decide to tear them down later and then I would never win; but man oh man, what amazing timing I have! I swear I could not have picked a more difficult week (husband leaving for two weeks, extended family drama, etc) to attack them.

Lately I LONG for heaven. When I pray I long to see Whom I am talking to... thoughts like, 'I can't wait to pray without distraction, wholly and completely-not fighting out sinful thoughts every couple seconds- when I am praying!' came a lot today.

Perhaps it is not uncommon when you give over the things standing in between relationship and fire insurance, but today especially I long to be free of this wicked wicked heart! So often it turns against what I long for and only looks at the short lived relationships... desires... stupid drivers who get in my way... that attitude husband had yesterday... etc. etc. etc.

Think.

If this were an easy process, gold would be cheap to have. People don't make movies of people who are molded and being refined, but God gives them crowns and call them His children.

God.

God calls them HIS children.

Dude... if you let that sink in a little... we say we are children of the King (christian lingo for ya) and so we are, but He is more than a King. Um, hello? Do you realize He is not even just a god, like the stories of all powerful Zeus, He is THE GOD.

And I am called His child.

If it were easy, we would not be strong... we would burn in the fire instead of being as refined gold.

Well, with that thought...

Heaven can wait; I have refining yet to do and I am sure the crown I have earned is not nearly big enough to throw at His feet. :)