I am unsure how to open these thoughts, so as they say, without any further ado:
I was the thinking about some of the single guys we know and how many of them are very thoughtful, intelligent, kind, and not bad looking guys- yet they're still single. I find it almost ironic because my single guy friends are easy to talk to, rarely forget birthdays or anniversary's, always have little gifts that are spot on for said occasions, and even have a good sense of humor... yet they are single!
...and then there are the married guys. Not just mine, but quite a few I know, are almost the opposite of all those things... ESPECIALLY before they got married. It makes me wonder, since I knew all these single guys before I chose my diamond in the rough, why?
I am coming to the conclusion that marriage is NOT for each other or for love or even because you choose a person you like best, but instead its for the bigger picture; for heaven.
Perhaps this only applies to believers, but you know that verse about God knowing who will choose him but letting them choose anyway? I think the same goes for marriage. We are given the choice to be obedient but God has someone for us to marry that will challenge us in every way to be more like Him and lean not on our own understanding, or our own ability, but His understanding and ability. Those single guys seem to have a lot down, but my husband is still pretty rough. I think it was supposed to be that way! If I married a man who had it down pat, why would he need me (or I need him) to follow Christ better? Why would he need a helpmeet, why would I need to learn to ask for grace and patience, or how would I remember to lift him up in prayer (would he even have someone praying for him every day) if he were pretty near perfect?
Its like my pastor said yesterday, we're given storms so we can learn how to rely on and trust God more. Not that He does it to sadistically torture us into loving Him, but that He sends us trials we can barely handle so we can little by little learn how to trust Him. My pastor compared it to a coach giving hard practices so that the players will be ready for the big game... it is the best example ever! That is our Lord completely; He sends us practices so when something big happens we know how to rely on Him and look to Him for help.
You might ask why doesn't He just keep the bad things from happening all together, which He could do, and I would tell you He wanted to, but Adam and Eve chose to eat the fruit and bring sin into this world. Now there is a daily choice between right and wrong, as well as daily hardships, but there is hope too.
So that is my "bleh".
Marriage is hard and sometimes I think I made the dumbest decision in the world; but when the haze of emotion clears away I realize I am only focused on myself and there are many many good things that have come and could only come of my marriage to my dear knuckle head husband. Growth of person, growth of spirit, growth and an understanding of love I would have no other way... and an amazing beautiful little girl that would not have existed except for a marriage of two people nearly 4 years ago... :)
3 comments:
Yes!! I'm so with you. My hubs and I realized this weekend that something you CAN'T learn to be ready for before you're married is how you go from putting that person first for a fews hours a week or maybe even a day, to putting someone else first 24/7. And that's why we fail miserably, but learn as we go. *sigh
I feel ya, girl!
Who are these single Nicholas Sparks Hallmark Pansies you're talking about? They already irritate me. :-)
I've gotta say, you've got a trusting man! I don't take kindly to single guys wanting to be friends with my wife, jealous man like me. I usually have words with guys who get friendly with Brandy.
There are always reasons why single guys are single. Having prayed with and shared confessions with many single men, I can say you'd probably be glad you don't know why.
All that being said, I do agree there's a lot of growth in marriage that comes from overcoming irritations, and faithfulness in seeing through the will of God to the end. We've both had expectations of the other that didn't or haven't yet gotten met (I'm still not a go-get-em pastor, and Brandy's not yet an intellectual pietist :-)) but there's what God's given us, and there's what He hasn't. "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." there's no use meandering around the one forbidden tree in the garden, I chose who I chose for a reason, and it's comforting to know God has a reason too! so I say 'Father, may your will be done' & embrace the Tree of Life. But honestly, I think most of our frustrated times are past, If I would hazard to speak for her, Brandy & I appreciate and enjoy each other more and more the longer we've been married.
Most of "my" single guy friends are actually "our" single guy friends. :)
No I don't think they are perfect and I didn't mean to be looking back, it was more taking the whole picture into account...
You guys are a sweet couple Judah. :) Miss you guys a ton!!
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