Army Christmas party tonight, it was actually fun. I mean, they even had decorations this year and a comedian that made us laugh so things are getting better.
On the other hand, I realized just how "sure" this deployment really is. We still don't have papers, but all the uppity ups are saying the end of May, early June, and at the party all the speeches made said this was the last party before deployment, this is why we deploy, etc.
Husband thinks I should think about it more, but I have been purposefully putting it out of my head, as much as possible when you get mail saying insurance is free because your spouse has gone active duty, because I don't want to be an emotional mess yet. I think when the papers arrive I can emotionally consider it, but until then I'm only tentatively laying plans and slowly starting to make preparations... nothing so big that the emotional me would recognize it as a change of circumstance.
Husband is excited to deploy for the most part; he feels it makes his time in the army legit so to speak. I understand completely, but I think we're both thinking of June/July and assuming (for sanity's sake) that he'll be here. Even still, I am going to start looking for a doula.
Well, thats all I've got to say about that. Now it is going back beneath the covers- I am not yet ready to lay in that bed thank you very much.
2 comments:
i love you beth. you can call and be an emotional wreck with me whenever you want. we're going active, did i tell you that? anyway....
love.
See that picture just to the right of this comment? It's of Margo singing out loud. She has no idea what comes next, but she's singing. Somehow kids know they're taken care of by people who can handle it. And we are too, but we forget to sing like we know we're taken care of by someOne who can handle it.
Don't know if this makes sense. I understand. I've been there (though not in wartime) and I'm here.
If it doesn't make sense, chalk it up to study overload.
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