If I'm going to be completely honest, I haven't written in awhile because I have nothing to write. Rather, nothing beneficial.
Here is an update of my life:
My kids, I love them, are super adorable.
They also drive me nuts and I feel like I am in a constant state of anger and annoyance at the tests and repetitions of Margo. It's just regular ol'two year old stuff but every day I wake up and think I am no good at this job... but I do love to kiss their sweet cheeks! A good friend sent a message on raising kids to me today and it struck me that I am just surviving my kid most days; I decided to make a conscious effort to enjoy the stage she is currently in (as much as possible when she yells at the top of her lungs 6 times in a row without taking a breath "momma baby cry!"... usually when they baby is going down for nap haha)
Marriage... well, we celebrated 5 years of marriage last week! Mostly we celebrated that we haven't killed each other. :) I think some days he really has feared for his life... and some days he deserved to. :-P But really, I miss him and I am both looking forward to the end of this as much as I am not looking forward to his transitioning back into society. Ce la vie.
I miss my home. I am thankful to have my parents and the help and to be closer to my other family (husbands parents and my sister) but I miss my home.
Mostly I spend my days being productive by very busily doing repetitious little things like changing diapers, baking, and reading Curious George while I spend my evenings trying not to feel bored and useless to the world. I guess I am at the same place I was last time I wrote... lonely.
I wish God filled the void but I admit, I fill up the quiet hours with movies to drown out the loud nothingness. Its a battle, giving Him the glory of the quiet lonely hours, but thank God for worship music because otherwise I think I would be lost.
Thats it! Hope to prevail against the whispers of worthless and the distractions of Facebook to give God a thankful heart and perhaps have something beneficial to write next month... (and maybe fewer run on sentences! haha)
2 comments:
Stay strong my Beth
I know its not easy nor fun.. But Luke will be home and I am sure he will love seeing the kids and taking them out, and making you laugh a little... This Christmas should be a good one. More games and lots of Lukey baby
Love you Beth praying for you and the girls, missing you loads
You are adorable Elisabeth! And I love your honesty. Life is incredibly challenging sometimes and I can only imagine the pressures of being a mom and waiting for a husband to come home. You are doing a wonderful job. So fun to be able to read about your days and be encouraged by your willingness to praise God through the struggle. Keep it up girl!
Post a Comment