Steadfast

For an emotional person like myself to be steadfast WOULD be a miracle... but here's what I've been learning.

I'm blessed with having a new sister in law who is wise and moreover NOT driven by emotions- she can even grasp the "it could be worse" phrase which just makes me depressed because I have a hard time seeing it anyway other than if it could be worse than whats the point of suffering through the bad of the now? What small comfort 'you could be feeling more awfully than now' is to one who suffers.

I digress.

She challenged me, when we were discussing my struggles with the point of prayer, etc, to dig into the Word because that's how we'll know the heart of God.

I had already started reading through the Bible in a year but I decided she was right- not enough Bible study causes an easily swayed and doubting person such as myself to be devoured by emotions. I need stability... I need to be renewed.

What better way than to stand on the Rock and be washed by the Word?

But I tell ya it has just caused more and more questions. Some of the them I have to remember I cannot understand everything, I'm only human where as God is God so logically there would be things beyond my understanding; but some of them I just keep asking and looking into...

Which brings me to my next thought. It occurred to me that my thoughts have been full of death lately but that is the opposite of Jesus- he came to bring life. Wow my hands can't even write that without my heart asking a barrage of questions but the point is, focus on life. Focus on true life, the bread of life, the living water.

And lastly be thankful. At first it tastes dry and sarcastic, but start small and be honest and don't get lost in the questions but take time to only be thankful. Every hour. Really, it has to be every hour.

I need to be regimented (not religious, but I NEED daily and hourly reminders) and my time needs to be focused... I need to be cleaned and renewed more often than daily to have a steadfast heart. It's the Word (which is living and active) but I laugh like Sarai at the thought... for ME to be steadfast seems more impossible than a couple in their 90's having a baby.

Drink water often.
Be renewed- purposefully thankful and focused on words of life rather than lies or even truth that is bent towards darkness... there is a lot of darkness in this world.
And lastly, for me, take more time to be yourself and not focused on being MOM. Take a break.

Cheers.

BTW the verse that sparked this was Psalm 51:10.