I need to make decisions, I cannot just sit and think.
I need to go out into the world, things won't get done if I am hiding.
Don't look at me, don't talk to me, I might cry if I need make any effort to interact and I cannot bear for you to see me so insecure and unprotected. Vanity it may be- but vanity is the only control I have.
People say I blame the baby for too much, the poor thing they remark, but is it not for the baby that I am emotionally losing my mind? Gaining weight and all my normal faculties turning into something weird and new? What, I might ask, should I say- I am completely changing physically and mentally and emotionally falling into an uncontrollable state for no reason, I just felt like it.
Another thing people say, you don't look pregnant at all. Cruel bastards. Perhaps they mean to compliment someone smaller than themselves, but if that someone has gained more then 10 lbs and wears other peoples clothes because hers don't fit anymore, and if that someone is the heaviest they have ever been in their life and 16 weeks pregnant, you are just a stupid moron trying to fill a silence with your 'Minnesota Nice'.
Well I feel a little better.
I am very vain. It is mostly a detriment, but at times it helps me keep things together.
God help me through the next 23 1/2 weeks!
2 comments:
Don't worry, to one of the people who know you best (meaning me) you look pregnant. And for the most part you haven't seemed to be losing your mind and I spend most of the last couple of weeks with you. But then again, maybe you're hiding it, but I know you well enough to know that it's probably more true that you are not losing your mind.
By the way, if you think babies mess with your head - wait until they're teenagers! Then you won't be dealing with the hormones (yours) but I guess you probably will be dealing with the hormones (theirs).
There's an old song by the Carpenter's and it goes....
"We've only just begun...to live..."
I forgot to mention, you said a naughty word in there.
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