Life as a stay at home mom of two little girls can get really lonely; but then, it only takes 24 hours of my only adult interaction coming through a computer screen for me to feel lonely and bored. Is that really who I am and what my life is? Is the fulfillment of my vapor the vapors I surround myself with or is there more I can do with this life to make it worthwhile?
Really in the spectrum of reality I am just another tick on the census in a generation that increasingly doesn't care about other ticks; and that in a piece of history that will be even more irrelevant to the ticks to come... do I even deserve a mark in history?
It follows in my head that I have two marks on history that are the next generation and my value is found in a job well done devoting time and effort and many many many prayers in raising my two girls. Even then- one bad car ride, one faulty food, one germ that is just one too many... and they could be wiped away from the future.
In the end it comes down to my life is only made valid by a relationship with the One who created it. If my focus is on anything else, if I get distracted by the fun or lack there of (or even by the love of a mother for her babies), life is suddenly hollow, shallow, and can be shattered in an instant. I don't want to live my life in a grimace waiting for the shatter and I don't want to be so displaced that when the shatter comes I am unable to find fulfillment in what matters.
So what matters is my relationship with Jesus.
May I not be found deficient and may my life be found to matter in the end because of Him.
3 comments:
Hmmm, that was really encouraging. Not very often I can say that about your blog entries -interesting, yes, but not usually encouraging- but yeah, I'm genuinely encouraged.
Ouch- probably need to work on that.
so good! thanks for the reminder beth:)
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