Update.

"it doesn't really make something more [or less] valuable if you appreciate it when you have it... it only makes you miss it more."


That's what I wrote- geesh- only 9 days ago. It seems much longer than that and so stupidly shallow... I mean I was talking about possessions but ugh, what is anything I have ever lost compared to a son?


This past week has been long and I keep saying things even dumber than usual. I long to help, SOMEHOW, but I'm pretty dang useless. My poor friends! How raw their pain... 


As a shadow during an eclipse husband also left today for what looks like another month (at least). It seems like such a little thing in comparison, but I suppose to my children it is the big thing. Margo keeps saying in her big girl (but still two year old) voice: "Daddy has to go back to the army. His head hurts, he has to go to the DR. so he can make it better."
He has been gone and only coming home for visits for over a year now. Thank God for the visits! Thank God for a lot of things... but most of all, I am thanking Him for the Daddy husband is becoming and how well he has stepped into this sudden role of Daddy to two little girls. It is not perfect, but he respects my discipline (which is a big change from his visit last September) and he even helped with some cleaning and giving me a nap. It will be hard when he comes home for good because I overlook a lot right now (like Margo CONSTANTLY testing his authority) because he is only visiting. That, however, is awhile away so I guess I have some time.


Life feels weird right now- it doesn't feel right to be normal. Tears are at the back of my throat all day and my thoughts are never my own- they are in another state with a family one person shy. 


But life as a single mom continues.


Back to it I go.