The other day, though, we found another house within our means and that suited us well and that is where my lesson comes from. I looked at it on Tuesday and husband saw it Wednesday; Wednesday night the realtor started writing up papers and got an email at 9pm- it sold that very night. When I started thinking about that I started asking if this was God telling us to not buy a house and without realizing it I started to get discouraged.
Its funny how discouragement and mistrust can disguise itself- I was honestly thinking it was wise to look at the facts- we've gone to make offers on two different houses that have sold that very day and a third house fell through after we almost made it to closing- couldn't that be God saying "NO"?
I started to get antsy and I lost the peace I've had, I wondered where it went still thinking asking questions was a good thing.
Today I decided to find it again; it occurred to me, suddenly, that perhaps there was another explanation to slammed doors... I had been thinking we weren't hearing from God if we can go as far as making offers on houses just to find out they are gone but maybe I was wrong and we WERE hearing from Him; maybe He was just using a loud and clear way to tell us "not the one".
Thinking like that takes a lot of the responsibility to 'hear' correctly off of our shoulders and puts a lot more trust in God communicating what we need to hear. When I really think about it I was trying to do a lot on my own... but if I just stand back a little I can see clearly that He is answering all our prayers; we've heard a distinct 'no' on three houses so I know when it is a 'yes' I won't have to wonder, it will be loud and clear!
So I am peaceful again and not worrying. I am still uncomfortable with how busy our lives are going to be- I am going to be traveling a lot in May and living out of boxes with out a kitchen of my own or a knowledge of where we are going to live with less than 2 months from when my daughter is born- but being uncomfortable is not the same as being stressed. Here is a list of what God has provided in this season of our lives:
-A believing realtor who works hard for us.
-Friends who at a moments notice will move us- twice. =)
-A place to live temporarily.
-Freezer space to put the meals I've made for after baby comes.
-Friends and family who take time to come and pack up/move boxes for a pregnant woman.
-A healthy baby.
-Money to pay bills and buy a house.
-Peace in a time when I should be stressed.
-Time nearly every day to get much needed naps.
Speaking of... its about that time of day.
God willing we'll be out of the waiting room soon, but really I can't complain... we've both grown so much and are learning some much needed lessons here. I am very happy for the latest lesson- those two days of questions were really quite terrible.
3 comments:
Yes, I've come to the conclusion that God doesnt' want us to go crazy. It's not very edifying for anyone. I used to go visit insano-land trying to figure out what God was saying about everything, until at the crazy person tipping point I realized that God is perfectly capable of letting me know clearly his will if He wants me to do something other than what I AM doing - provided I'm seeking Him & remaining open to His input. So I don't have to drive myself over the edge straining to hear.
And you're making your own preemptive dinners for when you're incapacitated?! Wow!
LOL Judah- those were some big words.
It is such a revelation to me, but now that I am here it seems like such a simple lesson- to trust God that He can handle communicating. =) I guess thats part of getting out of a works based relationship and into a faith based on grace relationship.
Very nice, Ella.
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