"although a fool"

Oh what a rotten weekend!! Terrible indeed... after busy days and nights all week, a crabby baby, a puppy that test the limits, and hardly seeing husband much more then the 6 hours we sleep by each other at night I looked forward to the weekend only to be left home alone, unexpectedly sacrificing my Sunday afternoon, and spending Saturday and Sunday night fighting with Husband.

Needless to say, Monday morning was a mucky thing to wake up to.

Alas! I am such a worthless being! I read the Word, hear the Word, look into the mirror and walk away forgetting my own reflection... what a hole I've been falling into again, hating husband for all that he isn't (he really has been selfish lately yet he is not God, why do I keep expecting him to fill that role? to be that perfection?) and pushing the world away while I wallow in... well I guess to sum it up it's just been self-pity; though to type that is a hard blow to my vanity.

Today, though, I opened my Bible to Isaiah with a prayer of hopelessness in my own ability to overcome these weighty feelings. I read:

"Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped. Then the lame shall leap like a deer, and the tongue of the dumb sing. For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert... A highway shall be there...called the Highway of Holiness...Whoever walks the road, although a fool, shall not go astray"

LOL! Exactly what I desire, my desert of a soul to burst forth in streams, and exactly how I feel- as a fool walking the highway of Holiness. Though I don't know about not being led astray (my heart said) but then, I am walking the highway (I think this scripture is talking of heaven and what will be for the righteous by Christ if you read the whole passage) so don't I need to believe the scripture as true and stop saying I am an exception because I am worse then the others??

It ended:

"and the ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion with singing, with everlasting joy on their heads. They shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away." Isaiah 35: 5-10 (edited a bit by me)

After that I didn't feel a lick better but baby was awake so I started on my day. It wasn't until about an hour ago that I realized I was singing praise songs and dancing while vacuuming... I didn't even realize God had answered my prayers and given me a new heart this morning.

Oh that I had prayed yesterday!! Oh that I had taken time to read instead of opening the morning with the fight husband and I started Saturday night!! Oh that I would stop forgetting my own reflection and remember this for next time!!

But I am a fool.

Thankfully, God takes those too. ^_^

Cheers.

Here's to working out salvation one day at a time and to getting up after falling 70 times in one day. May you be filled with joy and dance with your vacuum as well. God is good.