I did a stupid thing yesterday.
Very, very stupid.
I called my husband names and slapped him in the face... in front of his family.
Oh wretched woman! When will you ever learn to hold your tongue and tame your anger?
Yet God is a good God and deserves all the glory- though I am wretched and abominably stupid (sometimes emotionally insane too) He had mercy on me and used the actions I took in anger and desperation to open up the door of the cellar in our marriage we've stuffed full of hurts and problems we don't want to deal with.
Embarrassed, immensely. Humbled, for a time- may it be forever! Hurt and pained by the hurt I caused, wretchedly aware. Forgiven, by my Savior and husband alike. For the latter it was at first hard, what an embarrassment the wife he chose is! But he did, and I did, and together we're starting fresh.
I'd like to say in ten years I'll look back and shake my head at how impossibly immature I USED to be, but who's to say? Two days ago I would've said I've learned that lesson... oh what fires and trials bring out of us!
Take care reader to search your heart and ask the Lord to make the things you keep hidden pure- I regret my actions with all my heart but if my folly can be used to purify our marriage and painfully teach me to hold my anger in check then can I truly regret it? Yes; I still do and wish I could learn such lessons without hurting others. Please don't be harsh on me, I know only too well how terribly I was wrong.
3 comments:
Wow. It takes humility to even admit to that. Aren't we grateful that God forgives us every time :) What a great model your husband is for mirroring that too.
That is pretty crazy, I have a hard time imagining you doing something like that, even with your temper.
I'm very happy for forgiveness, Brandy's always such an immediate forgiver it makes me more ashamed than if she held it over my head when I sin against her.
Hope it (everything) gets clean & better fast, I'll pray for you both!
We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
And all, after all, means ALL.
Thanks guys! Yes we are doing much better then expected actually... you're right, my husband mirrored Christ in forgiveness and I am actually the one having a hard time- he's let it go!
Thanks for the encouragement.
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