(this looks like me, but its my sister. :))

Oh life!

Just got back from a long trip to Florida and it seems like my baby girl grew up and developed her own will and intellect while we were gone. She now throws tantrums several times in an hour- sometimes just because she is annoyed with a toy that won't do what she wants (well doesn't that sound like me... what a bad example I am!)- and I am at a loss of what to do. She has also decided EVERY time she goes to sleep will be a major battle. Not so much with Daddy, with Daddy she cries maybe 5 minutes but all he has to do is say "lay down!" sternly two or three times and she lays down and is out! Jealous. So jealous. I on the other hand am TRYING to stick to the Dr. Sears CIO method of checking on her every 10 minutes but sometimes it can take an hour... oh Lord! I feel like I am torturing my child and nothing seems to be changing... though to be honest the little dear cries so pathetically she convinces momma something is not right and momma rubs her back, sings, and at the last moment (when it was crucial for her to finish CIO) momma will take her out and try to rock her which usually ends in dear baby smiling and being cute, not even feigning to hide how proud she is that she won.

Parenthood is hard.

Anyways, Margo is also walking now! She likes to crawl most of the time but last night as we were downstairs watching a show 10 minutes before bed time she got a burst of energy and started walking back and forth from the couch where Daddy was to the rocking chair where I was (about 6-7 steps one way). So cute!

She is also saying words, sort of, such as bubu when we were blowing bubbles today, ish when something doesn't belong in her mouth (thanks for that Oma), mama, up, AH! for Atli, and sometimes hi and buh buh for bye bye. She understand sooooo much more; today when Daddy walked out of the room I asked her where Daddy was and she looked around and went to him and when you talk about her shoes she gives you her feet. :) I just can't believe how fast her little brain is developing!

There is so much to learn, so much to do in a day, so little energy to do half of it. I read blogs of the new breed of super mom (seems to be every mom but me) who has many littles running under foot, makes her own whole foods from sprouted grains, gardens, crafts, sews adorable clothes for everyone, has an Etsy shop, is involved in her church and blogs in her spare time as if it didn't take her an hour to write one because she kept getting up to take care of other things like I do... I wonder sometimes if these women are truly being honest about their lives or if there is just something wrong with what I am doing.

I think she finally fell asleep.

Oh LORD!!! Please help me! I need patience, and especially self-control, and I need discernment to know when to take care of my dear Margo and when to let her calm herself down. My mothers heart just wants to fix it... and my human heart just wants to quit because I am not super mom... but Lord where I am weak You are strong and I am weak in every place. Equip me to be the Mom who will raise a little girl after your own heart, one who is remembered as being a Godly example even in failure! And thank you for how you've blessed me with an adorable, headstrong and intelligent baby.

Amen.